There are many reasons why people marry and to be fair, no two lives are the same so naturally their reasons may vary. I saw a twitter thread this week on how husbands get treated when the burden of caring for the family turns to the wife. It was so bad that it seemed that men felt insecure if they were left at the financial mercy of their wives.
“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough!”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 MSG
Then imagine going through a difficult journey, perhaps crossing a desert and the partner who was supposed to make the journey bearable, helping to carry the supplies or just keep you company, is the one stressing you (wasting your supplies, attracting dangerous animals by doing things they are not supposed to do), so that their stress is even more than the stress of the journey!
Life in general is hard! Going to work, dealing with disappointments, managing people, managing your own self so as to get the best out of life! Life can be very hard and so the last thing that must get any harder is your marriage!
⁃ If you are not happy by yourself don’t get married
⁃ If you cannot simply be grateful for life and enjoy your own life don’t get married
⁃ If you’re not ready to forgive and heal on the go don’t get married
⁃ if you cannot understand that your partner has their own lives to live and are only sharing the burden of doing life with you then don’t get married
⁃ If you are not ready to help and to share, and to lift the other when He falls down then pleeeease don’t venture marriage!
There are many reasons why people marry however in one year I have found that this may be the one motivating factor for modern marriages.
A help meet? there are many men who’s wives are not helping them as much as some random stranger is. Children? Children are only a gift in marriage, there is no guarantee that every marriage will be blessed by children plus you can certainly have children outside of marriage. Sex? let’s not talk about it as its everywhere… and considering that some family and friends can be more helpful than some spouses can you tell me again why we should get married?
In today’s world things are so different and unconventional that two people can agree to just be in a lifetime relationship and not officially get married and it works because it’s not exactly the ceremony but the heart and intent of the two people trying to walk together.
So when you do decide to get married, don’t let it be a marriage that complicates your life more than it already is. Your marriage should make your life better, not in a selfish way but in a way that enhances your life in depth. Your marriage is supposed to give you room to grow healthily and you are supposed to give that same room to your partner.
I realized that i may have had some expectations that after marriage life was gonna be different and perfect because we were together, but i learned that i was still an individual although i was married. I had my responsibilities and my duties to myself and to my life! And so did my husband, the fact that we got married did not mean we had to suddenly be the center of each other’s lives! We were priority in each other’s lives but we both had our own lives to live. And you will have to learn to be an individual within the team!
Your partner is not your slave, neither are they supposed to be chained to you simply because they are married to you. They had a life before you and the reason why you are together is to help each other and bear each other up not take over each other’s life! When you get married you do not magically become happy, infact if you were not happy before, you are likely to be unhappier if there is any such word!
Learn to live your life and enjoy it to the full whiles you’re single. It will go a long way. Don’t wait for someone to complete it for you, cos chances are they won’t.
Remember that marriage is supposed to make your life flow better and not complicate it amy further!
I pray that you find someone to do life with in a way that makes both your lives better! Stay blessed.
Xo,
Zoe🌟