Guard Your Heart ❤️!
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
Here’s a story told by a young man on letting go of betrayal. Hopefully it drives home the lesson!
“My dad left my mom when she was five months pregnant with me. Growing up, I never thought much of it. It was just my mom and me, and I liked it that way. As the years went by, however, my frustration toward my missing father-son relationship grew.
Frustration toward my dad for bailing on my mom. Frustration toward my mom for not saving their relationship. Even frustration toward myself because the thought of having a son, me, couldn’t make him stay.
The anger grew. It became more irrational, more displaced, more outrageous. With every added thought of negativity, my father-son relationship baggage grew heavier. Once the weight became too much to bear, I decided to meet my dad.
In just a few weeks, I had tracked him down and made dinner plans. The whole week leading up to it, I felt sick. Every anxious thought was rising up, along with every insecurity from my absent-father issues.
I walked through a crowded restaurant toward a face eerily similar to my own, and for the first time I looked my dad in the eyes. It was surprisingly normal. The key moment soon arrived, and I told him, “I’m sorry for all these years of hating you.” Quickly he replied, “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you.”
Oddly enough, in that moment, all of the weight was lifted. I had a relationship with my dad. I had let go of the anger—but then the next morning came. I had gotten everything I wanted, but I couldn’t help but still feel angry toward him. I learned that relieving the weight of past pain doesn’t happen all at once. You must learn to let go daily.
Here’s how to let go:
1. Identify what makes your baggage heavier. Certain things will set you off. So scan your heart and know what’s in there, take stock of the feelings that are weighing you. So that instead of hitting panic mode whenever these emotions come back up, you can identify and acknowledge them and deal with them upfront.
2. Set boundaries. Once you have identified the factors that replay the pain of the actions you’re trying to forgive, set boundaries. Sometimes we confuse forgiveness for gullibility. You can forgive someone but not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Some things will be too triggering for you so you set boundaries to guard your heart.
3. Share Your Story. Your story is powerful and inspiring. When you forgive and let go of your pain, share your story! You have no idea the impact you could make. Oftentimes how you relay the story may comfirm to you whether you’re completely healed of the pain or still holding on to some grudge.
No matter what relationship needs healing, learn to let go. You just might find that your baggage is a little less heavy 🤷🏽♀️.
Xo
Zoe🌟