So think about it… what’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear a rattle sound whiles walking in the dark or the bush? Your guess is as good as mine. Its either a snake or some other really scary thing… suddenly beads of sweat break on your forehead… the air feels much drier than it actually is… and trust me at this point you can literally hear the sound of your heartbeat or the ticking of your wristwatch. This is what Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional Intelligence” terms as “amygdala hijacking”.
In this article I want to help us understand why we feel and react the way we do in certain situations and in certain circumstances, the biological mechanism behind it and what we can do to be in better control of these sudden reactions. Let’s get started…
The Amygdala
It’s a teeny tiny almond shaped nucleus that is resident in your brain. This little feature of the brain has been shown by research to play a primary role in the processing of memory, decision making and emotional reactions. When you think about amygdala you should think of one word…FEAR! The amygdala is the reason we are afraid of things outside our control. It also controls the way we react to certain stimuli or an event that causes an emotion, which we see as potentially threatening or dangerous.
Let’s bring it home… Annie gets a call from an anonymous caller telling her Dave is cheating on her with another woman, the anonymous person does not leave a name and just hangs up. At this point there is what I call the “million thoughts per second” reaction. Her mind in milliseconds begins to connect little moments of doubts she’s had about Dave and if she has enough of those little thoughts she immediately forms a solid opinion “it’s true”. And I can promise u that without any physical proof, everything within her just agrees that what she just heard was true… This confidence now triggers an Amygdala hijack. This is the point where the Amygdala processes the impending threat and gives you an immediate action plan without a second thought. Assuming you bumped into a snake… after the “million thoughts per second reaction” the question answered by the amygdala is “do I kill it or it kills me”? And right after weighing the potential threat it tells u RUN! AND THIS HAPPENS IN A SPLIT SECOND! No time to think twice.
So immediately Annie concludes on her truth, depending on the type of woman she is there may be several possible reactions
1. Call Dave immediately and accuse him for infidelity
2. Go over to his office and make a scene
3. Packs up her stuff and leaves
4. Breaks down into tears of self-condemnation whiles re –iterating to herself the fact that no one truly loves her
5. She could even go all out attacking Diane( the lady she saw hugging Dave at the company party)
Trust me in all of these circumstances she will have to consume the amygdala rush before she can calm down and think rationally. The amygdala hijack happens because there’s an adrenaline rush into your bloodstream, as if some fuel has been pumped into your system, and needs a burn out before you can calm down and nothing absolutely nothing is impossible in this very brief moment.
Everybody experiences this phenomenon (unless of course you have yours removed… which is unhealthy though) especially women and due to our already hyper nature it’s like a double shot of the dose!
Moment of Truth: The reflexes produced by the amygdala hijack are only fruits of the knowledge you feed your mind and that’s the great thing about this because then you can control the reflexes that this reaction produces. And by knowledge I don’t mean a line from a book you read. I mean a conscious or unconscious awareness of a certain truth. Therefore in order to be in total control of your reflexes you need to consciously program your mind with certain truths till they become part of your subconscious mind.
There are several misconceptions in the air and its terrible how it’s almost impossible to scan and filter what goes into your mind but for your own peace and safety you need to take a big cue from Proverbs 4:23 which says
“keep thy heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life”.
Most often than not all our reactions stem from truths that sit within us and they only get stirred up by prevailing situations. For most women because of the popular Mantra that “all men are dogs” about 85% of women go into relationships with men with so much fear in their hearts unable to completely trust that their chosen partners are capable of being faithful to them. This results in having unnecessary suspicions about or competitions with their partners and the obvious result is the exponential ascendency rate of suffering relationships and divorce.
Here’s the first thing to do…
The bible says in Romans 12:2
“And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (KJVlite).
The BBE version says
“And let not your behavior be like that of this world, but be changed and made new in mind”.
So in order not to behave like the “ordinary woman”, my Dear Good Woman, you need to feed your mind with the word of God with regards to all areas of your life even as you constantly fellowship with the spirit in the word, for “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of his heart his mouth speaketh.”
As you build your mind with the word of God it serves as a good filter to sieve the knowledge that you receive into your system…once the word of God is a strong regulatory principle in your heart you are able to censor what comes in and what goes out.
After that you may want to cut off all Evil communication, an unwholesome conversation, books with unwholesome content, TV programs that aren’t healthy for the kind of life you want to build and most of all Relationships that set you in opposing directions to the destination you’re headed for. And you totally need to be firm; aggressive, audacious, forceful, insistent…make the people around you realize that you are only open to healthy conversation and that you will tolerate no evil communications around you. Don’t keep friends that speak evil about your partner your kids your family…quickly cut them off. They are not worth keeping darling because if you don’t soon they will poison the once beautiful mind you had about your family and you most definitely will not enjoy the repercussions.
So Dear Good woman before you flare up against that sister, boss, partner or make that rash financial decision… Slow down, breathe and let the adrenaline dissipate and then think before you make any move so that afterwards you can confidently account for every action you take otherwise you will end up with lots of stories that go like “ I don’t even know what came over me”.. Hun you just fell for an Amygdala Hijack.
Stay Graced & Learn to be the woman… that you are! Shalom.
Zoe.