Before you get married you are helplessly in love, and if you’re a typical romantic like myself you’re probably looking forward to a happily ever after!
My husband and I dated from two different cities during the entire span of our relationship, and we had gone through stuff! Our love had been tested on many levels, but little did we know that those were simply chips from the iceberg.
The first 3months were kinda smooth sailing because we both traveled a lot during that time and so it was just like our long distance relationship, until we settled in about the 4th month… Talk about tests in every area, whooosh! I was transitioning from my city to his, had to re-establish myself financially, we were living together in each other’s faces for days… rediscovering each other all over again as though we never dated.
“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”
1 Corinthians 13:3-7 MSG
After living together for a while all you see is everything your partner does wrong, and how greatly imperfect they are! If you’re not careful you might even think to yourself “ did i make a mistake?”
It was after i married that i actually learnt to love some more. I’ve had to learn to be patient. I learnt to see the beauty that was there before , learnt to not seek my own, learnt to not keep record of wrongs! Learnt to actually allow myself to be hurt and then forgive, because my usual self will not entertain relationships that hurt me in anyway, i’d rather avoid you than allow you to hurt me… but this time there was no running! I had to face it and go through it and so did he.
One of my key memories In this first year was one time when we had a huge fall out and we both agreed we had finally had our very first fight 😂😅😅😅.
I remember having to yield to worship, so my heart could just be willing to forgive! There’s this effect being in worship has on your heart. You see only the good, makes it easy to be kind and forgiving. Heheheehehee sounds funny or cute thinking about it in retrospect but during the period it was not funny at all! You are two different people… you need to understand beforehand that it will not be only sweet,my darling…
Because your partner means so much to you, their every action affects you deeply and you will have to learn to use the presence of God and the word of God as your healing place and balm to restore you whenever it gets deep!
Also thankfully we had developed a friendship even in the midst of our troubles… i mean we had super great days and on those good days we invested in building a healthy relationship, where we knew that beyond all the things we did to drive each other nuts, that our intentions for each other were genuine.
Here’s a note to you goodwoman, Love is patient, Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
The words used to describe love should at least give you a hint that it won’t always be butterflies, but it can be beautiful! God is love and no one can love truly without Him so do well to hang on to him as you attempt to go on this journey… you’re certainly gonna need Him!
Till then,
Xo
Zoe🌟